Good morning! As I said in my last post about my HOPE trip to West Virginia, I want to spend some time reflecting on some of the “last hoorah” moments of my Stonehill experience. And so the Girl’s Trip vibe continues since today I’ll be sharing a bit about women’s retreat.
The Call to come on Women’s Retreat
After finding peace with God and other women on HOPE West Virginia, I started to crave more of that time. I could feel that something was being revealed to me through it: something I couldn’t find anywhere else. When I found out about women’s retreat I knew I wanted to go for so many reasons. First and foremost because it was the last chance I would get to go on a retreat as a Stonehill student. Not to mention, it was on Cape Cod or “the cape” as the locals call it, which I had never been to before. On an even deeper level though, I could feel a pul on my heart telling me God had something to share with me there.
So despite the chaos of finals and the end of the semester, I signed up. A week or so later I found myself in a van- blaring broadway music- on the way to the Cape for an unforgettable weekend with an unforgettable group of girls. Or, I should say, Women.
A bit of Reflecting on Women’s Retreat
The word woman has always puzzled me. I suppose I have never really known how exactly to define it. Being a woman myself I suppose that’s probably part of the reason I have such a hard time defining me. However, this weekend long retreat gave me a lot of time to ponder and reflect and talk about it. Although I didn’t really find an answer, I did write a rather brief reflection during one of our small group sessions. It went like this:
“What does it mean to be a woman? How would you depict your femininity? What has the evolution of womanhood looked like for you? For me, I am walking through a hall of mirrors. The kind that are distorted and misshapen, not by any fault of their own of course but because they were never meant to capture the full reality of something. Only parts. Exaggerating some, pointing them out. Making some things smaller, even non-existent. Before the mirrors there was nothing but a feeling: a subtle knowledge that I exist though not being entirely sure what that means or what it looks like.
When I close my eyes it is that feeling again: that absolute yet gentle certainty that I exist, only this time I have images in my mind with it: everything the mirrors have helped me to see and define. Putting together all of these imperfect images I am able to begin to conjure up some meaning: some semblance of what it looks like to exist. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes it’s beautiful, and sometimes it leaves me asking why. Every person. Every step. Every decision. Every no. Every yes. They all paint me a picture: a small seed planted in the garden of my mind. They are my mirrors: each one distorted slightly differently from the others but each one holding an important, irreplaceable piece of truth.
I do not think there is such a thing as a perfect mirror here on this earth but I believe that’s what heaven is: a full and true revelation of what it means to exist: knowing what that feeling truly looks like: knowing the fulness of what it means to be a human: to be a woman: to be me.
If we could see that all from the beginning though, we would never be able to experience the beauty of its revelation. Here on this earth, looking through mirrors, I am able to grieve over and delight in these small and gradual revelations: I get to hold them in my heart. And when the day comes when the wandering is over I will come face to face with my creator and become fully aware of creation knowing in an even more real way its beauty because I have been given the gift of experiencing the parts in communion with the whole.
Being a woman is a journey of experiences: each one revealing a bit more of the truth and wonder that is the creation that is me. It is something so grand that even a whole lifetime could not fully reveal it to me.”
– April 21st 2023 Spring Saint Maker Journal
This weekend didn’t give me all the answers and it didn’t solve all of my problems. It did, however, nourish my soul and spirit in all of the ways I hadn’t known I needed it…
The Highlights of Women’s Retreat 2023
It was just a couple of days, but there were so many memories made that I could not possibly capture them all in a single blog post. I’ll give you the in brief though:
- The car rides there and back: listening to music, dealing with Mass-hole drivers (some of which received a thumbs down out the window)
- Crochet time (working on squares for a blanket
- A solitary walk on the beach (I even took off my shoes)
- Journaling and reflecting together
- Mug cakes
- Body scrub making
- Braiding hair *catholically*
- Painting with ashes (an exercise in letting go of the past)
- My beautiful roommate
- Being the “cleaning fairy” after everyone went to bed because I was literally too happy to sleep
- Morning stretches together
- The delicious food
- All those late night conversations about faith and love and God and us
And sooo much more that can not be put into words. This weekend was irreplaceable and these women are always truly gifts from God. I can not wait for the next one!
Thankfully this retreat wasn’t goodbye, since many of us also went to Italy together a few weeks later. I’ll talk about that more in the next post though…
Until then, thanks for reading! I would love to hear your thoughts on womanhood or any retreats you’ve been on similar to this, so feel free to leave a comment, send me an email through the connect page, or find me on instagram!
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One (or maybe two) more Stonehill appreciation posts coming soon…
With Love,
-me ♡
