April 2nd, 2022 (One Week after Retreat- AKA Retreat Withdrawal time)
Good Morning Everyone!
Here’s How It’s Been Going:
It has been just over a week since my last post and in that time I have moved out of my dorm and into a new living space, team lead a retreat, made my course schedule for next year, neglected half my Daily Duties, fallen out of the habit of daily mass, sang at a social justice stations of the cross, beat myself up about a million times for not writing more, and tried my best not to fall behind on my school work. The good news is, after having a total of four hours of sleep over retreat weekend, I have made sure to get a solid 8 hours every night since coming back (a major success and improvement compared to my usual sleep schedule). The week after retreat is always a strange one. Oftentimes I find it to be a harsh hit of reality. It makes the time on retreat feel detached from reality, and the things learned or gained, like a childish fantasy.
Retreat Highs and the “YES” factor:
Perhaps you are familiar with what I like to call a “retreat high” or “the YES factor” . It’s that time on retreat when you feel practically invincible. Your heart has been set on fire and your entire being has been filled with passion for simply existing. You feel as though you can do anything and everything. It’s a bit hard to explain. To anyone who hasn’t been on a retreat, that statement probably sounds ridiculous -maybe even crazy- but anyone who has been on a really good retreat knows exactly what I’m talking about. This is perhaps one of my favorite things about retreats and it is what I look forward to every time. Sometimes the feeling doesn’t even last long enough to leave the retreat grounds. Sometimes it will last a day, sometimes a week, sometimes even a month. Eventually though, it always seems to fade, and more often than not there is a period of withdrawal.
Retreat Withdrawal:
Ah yes, the dreaded doom of all “highs”- the coming down. On many retreats, leaders are aware of the coming reality and try to encourage retreatants to hold onto retreat; to make it last beyond the weekend. For our Christ Encounters Retreats here at Stonehill, we call it “living the fourth day”. It’s a cute concept but the reality is it usually feels impossible. Our normal everyday life -especially in college- is far from everything we’ve been given the opportunity to experience through retreat. Even if we want to hold onto it, it all just feels too detached from reality. Not only can this make life feel way more stressful and suffocating, it can also leave us feeling empty; longing for that high and that “YES” again.
So how can we actually carry that feeling with us, even after the retreat is over?
I’ve gone on many retreats and experienced many of these withdrawals. I certainly haven’t mastered it, but here are my top 5 ways to combat that dreaded Retreat Withdrawal:
Top 5 Ways to Combat Retreat Withdrawal (Tips for Retreatants)
#1: Give Yourself Time to Rest & Reflect
I know it can feel like there are a million other things to be doing, but giving yourself time to rest and reflect is one of the best time investments you can make after a retreat- I promise. You can take a walk, do some journaling, talk about your experience with friends and family, or even write a letter to your future self. Make sure you get plenty of sleep afterwords as well- go to bed on time (even if that means saving some of your work for tomorrow or missing your favorite TV show) and give yourself permission to take a nap if you need it. Your mind and body needs time to process and rejuvenate after such a great experience!
#2: Stay In Contact With People
Your retreat leaders might have provided you with a contact list or even started a group chat, but even if they haven’t, don’t be afraid to get in contact with the new friends that you’ve made over retreat! Getting a coffee or a meal together and having a conversation can be so refreshing, but if they live further away, even just a random phone call or message works wonders. You can ask for their number or social media (or give them yours!). If they don’t have that, letter writing can be another great way to stay in contact with people 🙂
#3: Leave Yourself Reminders
Leaving yourself little reminders of retreat or what you learned there is a great and easy way to brighten up your days after retreat. These could be quotes, pictures, sticky notes- anything you want! Make sure you put it somewhere you’ll be able to see it such as your wall, water bottle, or phone/laptop background to you’ll notice it.
#4: Start a Small Habit
It might seem a bit daunting to start a new habit but this can be a very small and simple one. The purpose of this is to have something that is a part of your every day and helps you hold on to that retreat feeling. My biggest suggestion when starting a new habit is to add it to something you already do every day such as waking up, going to sleep, or walking to class. One great habit I have started recently is called the Divine Office which is pretty much just a fancy name for a set of prayers said at the same time every day. A good friend of mine introduced me to a great app that I use every night before I go to sleep to say these prayers. This app has all of the prayers, readings, and songs for the day/night pre-recorded for you to listen to. If you’re just getting started with implementing prayer into your daily life, I highly recommend it! You can also start listening to the Bible in a Year Podcast, praying the rosary, or journaling.
#5: Practice Gratitude
One word: Gratitude. It’s simple, easy, and effective. Instead of being frustrated with how tired you are, or how you wish life could always be the way it was on retreat, be thankful for the time that you were given on retreat. Be thankful for the friends, the memories, and the experiences. As you wake up each day, be thankful you have been given this day and with it a million new opportunities!
Top 5 Ways to Combat Retreat Withdrawal (Tips for Leaders)
#1: Actually Pray for your Retreatants!!!
This should go without saying, but praying is about the most powerful thing you can do as a leader. It doesn’t have to be out-loud but it has to be intentional. You can pray for your retreatants as a whole or you can pray for them individually with the same or separate intentions. If you’re Catholic, offering a mass for them is another great way to do this!
#2: Have a Post-Retreat Goal
Ask yourself what you want people to take away from the retreat: what do you want life after the retreat to look like? Make a plan about how to accomplish this throughout the retreat and evaluate how successful you were afterwards. Some examples can be building a sense of community within [insert group of people] or increasing the attendance of [insert any event]. By looking ahead to what you want the end result to be, you can be better prepared for right now.
#3: Remind Them of Your Thoughts and Prayers
Weather is be a simple text or a letter, letting your retreatants know you are thinking of and praying for them (see tip #2) is very important. This simple action makes them feel heard, seen, and loved and will encourage them on their journey. If you’re not sure exactly what to say, keep it simple. It doesn’t have to be complicated or elaborate- just sincere.
#4: Give Them Something to Take With Them
This should be something physically small that carries a large meaning. The easiest way to make sure this happens is making the object a part of a memorable activity. If this is an object they can wear or hang somewhere that’s great! The more they’ll see or use it the better 🙂 Some ideas are:
- bracelets
- keychains
- mugs
- pins
- magnets
#5: Provide Re-Connecting Points
Giving your retreatants opportunities to reconnect with each other and with you is of the utmost importance. Inform them of upcoming events, services, masses, projects, and anything else they could get involved in. Depending on your circumstances you may want to put together a gathering day or night to simply be together. You can watch a movie, share a meal, sit around a fire- whatever works best for your group. The important thing is to make sure this retreat is no the last opportunity your retreatants will have to connect with one another.
So there it is: My experience of retreat withdrawal and the best ways I’ve found to combat it, both as a leader and a retreatant. Thanks so much for reading! I hope it was helpful 🙂
-me
[elijah jane]
