I have to say, I did not know humility could be so freeing…
When I turned 21, I thought the virtue I’d be growing in most would be Hope– the thing that pushes me to do something despite it feeling impossible. Once I have Hope, I thought, I will be at peace.
Yet two weeks into this new era, I found myself before the blessed sacrament, completely overwhelmed by my life and the growing list of things to do, begging for Humility.
Learning the meaning of Humility
I had been praying the Litany of Humility for a while, but that day the words *clicked* and it became an entirely different prayer. Suddenly, pride (exemplified in the long list of petitions followed by deliver me Jesus) was no longer something I possessed, that would be taken away in exchange for humility; but something that possessed me, that I would be freed from through the grace of humility.
That day, as I sat in adoration, I wrote the following reflection in my journal:
The Hope in Humility
I have come to know in my heart that it is better to be entrusted with very little, and to tend to it well, than to be entrusted with much, and to steward it poorly.
Bless the Lord for having removed from me so much I had taken upon myself.
Bless the Lord for knowing my heart and giving me no more, nor any less, than what it can hold.
Bless the Lord for redirecting my gaze to that which has been entrusted to me.
Yet cursed the wound which fears humility: whose pain screams worth is found in ‘greater’ things.
But the curse which has been placed upon it has been taken up by the cross and, in the resurrection, it has been healed.
So Rejoice, my soul, for there is hope, even in your woundedness
-September 19th, in adoration
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