It’s been a long time since I’ve posted, and here’s why…
Lately, I have found it difficult to express the things I am experiencing, despite the fact that it all seems more profound and powerful than anything I have experienced before: the losses I have felt, the new beginnings, the mysterious moments of peace and clarity.
It is frustrating in a way: not being able to properly share it. I find myself wishing to hold out my hands and say “look” and have everyone see and everyone understand.
Yet I myself do not yet fully understand.
And there is a freedom in not feeling that I have to: of not feeling that my experiences have to be shared in order to be real; to be validated.
I have hope that someday the expressions will come, but that hope is no longer accompanied by the anxious desperation that it must.
It is freeing. And freedom is nothing like what I thought it was.
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Always with love,
-me (elijah jane)
